*Well it is finally time to post this because I am now pregnant again and in my 2nd trimester. I am so thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far. I wrote this manly for me to remember how I felt and what helped me stay positive but I also want people who have and are going thru it to read this talk and maybe it will help them too.
What a week. It all started on Wednesday May 23rd when I had a strong feeling to take a pregnancy test. I had taken one a week earlier because I missed my period but it said no so I was all set and ready to try again next month. Well this test was POSITIVE!! I was pregnant, about 6 weeks. I told Chad with a cute sign on the bed that said make room for baby #2 and we told a couple of his siblings, his parents, my parents and siblings. We were going to tell everyone in the family that weekend.
What a week. It all started on Wednesday May 23rd when I had a strong feeling to take a pregnancy test. I had taken one a week earlier because I missed my period but it said no so I was all set and ready to try again next month. Well this test was POSITIVE!! I was pregnant, about 6 weeks. I told Chad with a cute sign on the bed that said make room for baby #2 and we told a couple of his siblings, his parents, my parents and siblings. We were going to tell everyone in the family that weekend.
Thursday I felt great. I was bloated and that is about the only pregnancy symptom I had. Friday I went to a morning zumba class at 10:30 started getting side cramps. I thought it was because I ate right before. I came home and went to the bathroom and saw a little bit of blood and didn't worry about it. The rest of the day went just fine. On Saturday I went to another zumba class and this one was an hour and a half. I started to get side cramps again and thought it was the same thing eating right before class. Those cramps lasted almost the whole time. I came home and started feeling menstrual cramps. I went to the bathroom and saw a lot of blood. I called Chad and he told me to say a prayer and not worry to much about it. So I did and I looked online about miscarriages. After that I hung out with Linzie and then we went to lunch. I went to the bathroom before we left and there was a clot, about the size of a half dollar. I knew then I had lost the baby. I cried to Linzie in the car while she drove me home. Luckily my parents just got into town for the weekend and I cried to my mom and Chad for a while too. It was a very sad day. I wanted to be pregnant and have that baby SO bad!! I never ever thought that I would be one to loose a baby like that. Getting pregnant with Channing was so easy, being pregnant was easy too. But I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone and that was just something I was supposed to go through to learn and be stronger. I feel like he went easy on me too because I only knew for three days and I was only six weeks along. It could have been way worse so I am thankful for that.
The other day I started feeling bad again so I prayed for some peace and answers and I felt like I should look at the June 2012 Ensign. I started looking at the table of contents and found Learning to Cope with Infertility it was perfect. Just what I needed to hear. My favorite part was something Elder Worthlin said.
“The
Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away
from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way.
While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that
every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears
of rejoicing and gratitude.”
I just love that! It makes me feel so good. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and wants to give me more babies. It just has to be the most perfect time.
Here are some pictures of how I told Chad and His mom and how I looked on the day I found out I was pregnant. Just to remember.
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